Over the past fifteen years, there has been an increase in the percentage of people who suffer from mental health problems, including depression and anxiety. Many believe this trend exists because of social media, due to the way it over-stimulates us and forces us to compare ourselves to other people. While I think these two explanations are valid, I believe the social isolation theory offers a better explanation for this trend.
Social isolation theory tells us that advances in personal technology have allowed us to be more comfortable on our own, to the point where we don’t need as much social interaction to entertain ourselves. And when social media came along, it became even less desirable to go out and socialize in person, because we could just do it through Facebook or Instagram. But the problem with replacing in-person interaction with online interaction is that we don’t get the benefits that in-person interaction offers. This became even more clear with the pandemic in 2020, when we saw even less in-person interaction and an even higher rate of depression and anxiety.
Although there have been slight improvements with the rates of depression and anxiety since the pandemic, social isolation and its horrible effects are still ravaging relationships, communities, and other social environments.
Big problems like this often feel too intimidating for individuals to tackle. And while immediately solving the entire crisis is outside of what most of us can do, there are many things we can do, little by little, to make this problem better. Aside from engaging in more in-person interaction, I think focusing on the quality of our in-person interactions is even more important. With this being said, I would like to discuss how we can bring value to our social interactions through endearment.
So what is endearment?
Endearment is “the act of showing affection.” Many of you might be asking, “What does this have to do with solving depression and anxiety?” Well, according to the Arizona State News article, ‘The Effects Of Affection’, there are a lot of benefits to showing affection for someone, both physical and mental. These benefits include lower stress levels, a lower likelihood of having anxiety and depression, and better reactions to stressful events. These findings were also echoed in the paper titled, ‘Loving Others: The Impact of Compassionate Love on Later-Life Psychological Well-Being’, which went into a little more depth. The authors of this study found that expressions of endearment had a positive effect on emotions such as trust and hope, and they also also found a link between oxytocin production and receiving and giving endearment.
So what should we do with this information?
Well, I believe that we should try to express more endearment towards the people in our lives. And one of the many ways to do this is through verbal appreciation. Verbal appreciation is the verbal expression of admiration and gratitude for another person, and is the most impactful form of endearment.
Expressing verbal appreciation is not one-size-fits-all. Some phrases that are endearing to our romantic partners could be inappropriate or awkward if said to a coworker or acquaintance. But this shouldn’t scare us away from showing endearment towards those we aren’t close with. Endearment is a beautiful thing, and it should be shared with everyone. So instead, we should use appropriate phrases that properly express endearment towards all kinds of people. So let’s look at phrases that are appropriate for all the different kinds of people we meet.
Acquaintances:
Whether we are approaching an acquaintance at the store, school, or the gym, verbal appreciation towards these people can leave a positive impact. We never know what these people are going through, and maybe a light compliment or simple acknowledgment can make their day. And who knows, it is possible that doing so could start a lifelong friendship! Let’s look at some phrases that appropriately express endearment toward our acquaintances.
“Nice jacket!”
“You have a good sense of style.”
“Hey, how are you?”
“That is a cool watch.”
“That is a cool bag!”
Coworkers:
The work environment is very stressful as it is. And having to deal with unappreciative coworkers can add even more stress. But it can be just as stressful if people show appreciation that is a little too personal. It’s important to find an appropriate balance for expressing appreciation, as coworkers feeling valued and appreciated is vital for productivity and morale. Here are a few phrases that we can use to appropriately express appreciation in the workplace.
“You’re doing a great job.”
“You’ve improved a lot.”
“Wow, thanks for your contribution.”
“Hey, how are you doing?”
“You’re really good at this.”
“You always work really hard.”
“We are lucky to have you working with us.”
“How’s it going?”
“We couldn’t do it without you.”
Friends:
Friends might be some of the most important people in our lives. They are some of the only people that we choose to have in our lives long-term. But many of us forget how much they mean to us. It is important to remind them how valuable they are and why their friendship matters. Here are some expressions we can say to friends to show our appreciation.
“You got this!”
“That is why we are friends.”
“You’re always there for me.”
“You’ve grown so much.”
“You’re like a brother/sister to me.”
“Best friends forever!”
“You’re killing it!”
Customer Service Workers:
When we go out to a public store or restaurant, it is important to remember that the workers probably do not want to be there, and they are just trying to make it by like the rest of us. Acknowledging their hard work, sparking up a mellow conversation, or giving them a light compliment can make their shift just a little bit better. But we should also try not to inconvenience them or make them uncomfortable. Below are some great ways to express verbal appreciation for workers.
“You are doing a fantastic job!”
“Your service was great!”
“You made things easier for me.”
“Wow, that was fast, thank you!”
“I wish we could have you everytime.”
“Those are cool tattoos.”
Family:
Making strong bonds with our family members can help create a support system for ourselves and our future family. But unfortunately, many of us take family relationships for granted, because we often see them as a given. In reality, we never know when they will be taken away from us. So whether they are blood-related or not, it is important to remind them how much they mean to us. Below are some meaningful expressions that can show love for our family members.
“I love you.”
“You’re always so great to me.”
“I appreciate what you do.”
“You’re always there for me.”
“I can always count on you.”
“Best _ ever!”
Significant Other:
Open communication is key to a long and happy romantic relationship. And a huge part of this is verbal appreciation. We should not only be persistent with the amount of appreciation we give our romantic partners, but we should also remember to choose meaningful expressions. It is important to remind them why we choose them, and even why they are our best friends. Romantic relationships take a lot of work, but verbal appreciation towards our romantic partners can make this work a lot easier. So here are some phrases that do just that.
“I love you.”
“You’re the best.”
“You’re my best friend.”
“You’re so good to me.”
“You’re my other half.”
“I value you.”
“There is no one better than you”
“You are so talented.”
“You make my day better.”
“I am happy I know you.”
There is obviously a lot of overlap between what is appropriate between the different types of people I talked about. And there is no shame in using different kinds of phrases from the ones I listed. Individuals vary a lot in terms of what they think is appropriate. Many types of verbal appreciation consist of nothing more than a phrase that appropriately acknowledges someone’s existence like, “How are you?” or “Hey!” This is an especially important reminder for those of us who are not very emotionally outspoken. It’s okay to keep it lowkey, but we should also do the best we can. As long as we find a way to appropriately express our admiration and gratitude for the people in our lives, we are properly expressing verbal appreciation.
About the Author:
Chase Larwin is currently a content editor and writer for the marketing and blog/newsletter team at the Love Yourself Foundation. Starting as young as eight years old, he would write stories and create movie scripts. At the age of 16, he started writing political satire for an Instagram account and continued this until he was 18 years old. He is currently in his final semester at UNLV and will be graduating in journalism. He plans on attending Law School in the fall.
Comments