Digging For Hope

Rock bottom. It’s a term that I’m sure we’ve all heard. We conceptualize it as the lowest point, commonly in a person’s life. It’s a dark, hopeless spot to be in, where hope feels unobtainable. No matter how big or small the circumstances may seem in hitting rock bottom, the feeling hits all the same. And it can take on many forms in life.

For some, rock bottom may look like the worst of a persistent depression, while others may be something like flunking out of university. It could even be worse than that. For me, it was the first two, and they hit me hard. This happened after I graduated high school, which alone brought much change in my life. I’ve touched on that time in my previous blog posts, but allow me to go more in depth now.

Rock Bottom

My rock bottom was a time of uncertainty and turmoil. I was a socially awkward kid, and my friends from then either didn’t keep in contact with me or moved away for a fresh start in college. I had no direction out of high school, nor many people to confide in. I had my family, but things were rocky both between my parents and my immediate family as a whole. My parents bickered often, which understandably didn’t make them too receptive to others’ problems.

Needless to say, these circumstances didn’t translate well into my academic career. It caused me to fail all my classes, putting me on academic probation. Things spiraled as the negative emotion I felt only got worse once the pandemic hit. In life, I had hit rock bottom and I didn’t know how to cope. Since then, I’ve become a different person, but the scars from then have been with me even to this day.

During that time, hope seemed like a distant dream. I distinctly remember life feeling hopeless and without direction. However, as I tried to dig myself out of that trench, I came to realize that hope was more attainable than I had believed. No matter what life may throw at us, hope can be found in even the littlest things. Getting that hope requires effort, but small victories go a long way in maintaining it. From that time to now, I’ve learned some things I can do to strike gold and keep that hope going.

Shifting Mindset

First and foremost, I had to work on changing my mindset. Change starts with the self, and I knew it would have to come from within if I wanted to change my life. It started small; for example, with my humor. I would always be telling self-deprecating jokes, which wasn’t inherently bad. However, compounded with my circumstances, these were subconsciously weighing on me. There’s a fine line between humility and harm, and after much reflection, I found myself doing more harm than good.

Of course, this was just one of many mindset changes I had to make. But starting there helped reshape how I looked at myself. From there, I started to put more effort into how I dressed, styled my hair, and ate. My wardrobe got less dull, and I felt cleaner and healthier. Even just dialing back something as small as self-deprecation allowed me to start to build up self-esteem, which aided in getting the ball rolling toward building hope for myself.

In hindsight, this one was perhaps the most crucial change for me. There’s an old saying that goes, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” In my world, I knew I had to lead by example. It made me appreciate that even the smallest things can be a domino effect for the better. It taught me to not discount the little things in life. Something as small as setting an alarm clock for the next morning despite not knowing what may lie ahead. To me, that’s hope.

Establishing Routine

Making those small internal and lifestyle changes made me feel better about myself. They were small victories, but I felt more like a decent person because of them. Equally, establishing a coherent daily routine made me feel just as good. At the worst of my rock bottom, I would waste away in my bed. At most, I would help my family with chores around the house and then nap the rest of the day. Occasionally, I would play video games or binge-watch, but not much else.

Once I changed my mindset, I set minimum daily tasks for myself to do. Even now it consists of the basics, such as making my bed, brushing my teeth, or getting some sunlight. Before long, this routine evolved and allowed me to feel grounded enough to tackle more in a day. It would help in the long run, especially once the pandemic hit. The lockdowns felt like a reset on the progress I was making, but keeping that mindset and routine I set got me through it. It’s a practice that even to this day grounds me.

Over time, my routine evolved to include other lifestyle changes. A fairly recent routine I established was being more active. Having set days for going to the gym or working out at home allows me to establish a regimen in my life. In a way, it knocked out two birds with one stone, as it simultaneously boosted my self-esteem and provided additional normalcy. These come in handy when maintaining that hope for yourself.

Incentivizing Life

After building up myself, the real work began. Working on myself was half the battle, as I knew these would not be enough to radically change my life. This was where college classes came in handy. Once the pandemic started waning and classes opened back up, this was the time to enact more change. With my self-esteem built up, I started going outside my comfort zone and engaged more in my classes. I made friends with classmates, networked with professors, and attended more events on campus.

Before long, I had a network of people I could go to both academically and personally. Finding people outside of my family was a big boost. No longer did I feel stuck at home or in life. My life finally had a direction I wanted to go in, and I couldn’t keep going forward without that network. In essence, this is what I mean by incentivizing. Giving yourself something to look forward to can be a beacon of hope during difficult times.

This one can be the most ambiguous, as its application can vary. Having people to look forward to is just one way to incentivize living. These incentives can be found in anything, as long as you care about it. The key here is finding something that gives you hope to push forward, no matter what. Whether it’s something like an upcoming event or release of media, these can be a life-saver through life’s toughest moments.

Striking Gold

With those practices in mind, it wasn’t long before I found myself being in a much better position. I found a career path in writing and content creation. I found like-minded people to surround myself with. I even found my internship here at the Love Yourself Foundation through the connections I made in my classes. And with my college commencement fast approaching, there’s much more to look forward to.

Of course, much work still needs to be done from here. Hope can be found, but it can be lost again as well. Even now, I still struggle with things like depression and regressing to old habits. That said, maintaining that hope in life is equally as important as finding it. Sticking to these practices prevents fully slipping back into rock bottom.

In Short

Looking back, I didn’t think I’d make it this far. Even after starting these changes, there were plenty of times in my journey from rock bottom when I questioned myself and the worth of the life I was living. I would’ve never imagined building something for myself like this back then. It’s jarring to think back on, but I’m thankful to have persevered through. While I may be a different person now, I know that version of myself will always be with me. And to anyone who may relate to that version, know you’re not alone. You, too, have what it takes to get out of rock bottom. You just have to dig for that hope.

About The Author

Brendan is a senior at UNLV, and is currently majoring in Journalism. He is set to graduate in Fall 2024. With his concentration in digital/social media, he hopes to become a social media manager and content creator one day. He also hopes to grow not only personally, but also grow LYF's message this semester! Some of his passions include cosplay, video games, anime, and writing.