Accepting Your Flourishment

Growth is like a rollercoaster—even when you make plans for something, you’ll never think you're ready for it. Like any growth that’s new, you can’t be ready because you’re creating a new you—a new person. 

As you flourish through life’s experiences, you’ll understand that growing is an essential part of it all. Don’t be afraid to leave the old you in the past because your future may have great things in store. Never doubt what can happen and be thankful for everything that comes your way, as it is all a part of your flourishing journey to discovering the new you. Yes, it may be scary, but when you look in the mirror and see who you’ve become, you’ll be proud of the progress you’ve made in becoming a better version of yourself you didn’t know was possible.

Leaving the Old You

Sometimes it’s okay to branch out and do your own thing. People get caught up in old habits and what’s comfortable to them because they fear that what’s to come might be something they can’t handle. We as humans fear the unknown, given that we don't know what to expect, and that is frightening. 

Holding on to past habits can be limiting. It keeps us stuck in patterns that no longer align with the person we’re becoming. Certain habits can be procrastination, negative self-talk, or settling for less than you deserve. With growth, you start recognizing that these behaviors are rooted in fear, which keeps you from reaching your full potential. Letting go of these bad habits can be challenging, but it’s necessary for reinventing yourself. 

I’m a person who accepts growth. I know how to acknowledge where I’m wrong and can take accountability for my actions. Others can't, which leaves them stuck in their thoughts, and they treat others poorly since they can’t accept the truth. Have you ever noticed that people get defensive when they know they’re wrong? It’s as though their pride won’t allow them to face their mistakes. So instead of growing and learning, they lash out to protect their ego. This may even happen with your close friends. If your friend doesn’t accept the truth or gets angry with you for saying how you feel, you should take that as a sign that they may not be as emotionally mature as you.

We have to learn that it’s okay to outgrow people. We won’t be likable all the time, nor will we hang out with people we once did. It’s part of growing up. We won’t always find excitement in going to the club, drinking, playing video games, or other things people we hang around do. Learn and accept that it’s okay to move on. You can love people from a distance; don’t try to commit yourself to a friendship that doesn’t serve you anymore just because you have history. 

Comfort Zones

Part of growth is leaving your comfort zone. It can feel uncomfortable and unsettling at first, but when you enter a new level of comfortability, you’ll realize that it’s okay to grow and leave behind what you thought was your forever spot. 

I’ve had my fair share of times when I was afraid of leaving my comfort zone because I didn’t know what to expect. Since adolescence, I found comfort in being there for others, offering support and understanding to those who need it. I know what it feels like to be alone. Even when you’re surrounded by people you love, that sense of loneliness still lingers. Knowing I can provide comfort to people has always been fulfilling for me. 

Nevertheless, over time, I realized that I couldn’t allow myself to become overwhelmed with others' problems. I felt this way especially when people weren’t willing to take the steps to help themselves. Despite wanting to support others, it became draining to continually invest my energy into situations that remained stagnant. This realization allowed me to properly understand that, in any area of my life, true help only comes when someone is ready to help themselves. We can offer as much support as possible, but individuals have to take responsibility for their own growth. I’ve started to prioritize protecting my peace and energy while recognizing my limits in other’s life.

When you know in your heart that the place you’re in isn’t what's best for you, you’ll understand the importance of leaving your comfort zone. Yes, it may feel bad and worrisome, but that feeling won’t last forever. 

Experience

Everyone has experiences in life where they know when enough is enough and need to make a change. 

For me, that experience was when my doctor told me that the chest pain I was experiencing came from stress, anxiety, and depression. The emotion I felt from hearing that was indescribable, but it was a wake-up call. It had gotten to the point where I was always going to the hospital because I was in so much pain. My doctor suggested that I start therapy to help with my mental health. I was afraid that therapy might not work, given that most people believe that it isn’t for them. I had to realize that not everyone’s experiences are the same. Within the first couple of sessions, I felt so much better. I feel like I grew as a person and also learned more about myself than ever before. I'm beyond grateful and proud that I took the steps to help myself rather than complaining about my pain and suffering in silence. 

Each experience can either shape you or break you. It’s up to you to discover whether or not you want to grow from what you’ve been through. Understanding that it won’t happen overnight, but by taking one step at a time while going at your own pace, you can spark that change. 

Mindset

Our mindset is essential for growth as it shapes how we approach challenges, learn from our failures, and embrace self-improvement. 

We need to recognize that people's experiences and backgrounds shape who they are and the decisions they make. There are two types of mindsets: a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. A fixed mindset believes that intelligence and abilities are static, while a growth mindset is about embracing challenges and recognizing that abilities are improvable through learning.  

I can genuinely say that my mindset has changed for the greater good. A big impact has come from having an amazing mother who’s taught me how to better handle situations, to recognize that life is filled with highs and lows, and to never let it break me down. She has also taught me to focus on what makes me happy. 

There was a time in my life when my mindset was based on being overly caring for others. Growing up, my mom always told me to treat people how you want to be treated, which is why I love the way I do. I have a genuine desire to support others, which I noticed led me to prioritize their needs before my own. Even though it’s admirable to care for others, this tendency can result in neglecting my own needs. I had to teach myself to set boundaries; otherwise, I was giving individuals the opportunity to walk all over me. There were times I used to wonder why I have such a big heart. I was going through so much and nobody was there for me, but when it was the other way around, I was there for others. This feeling made me start putting myself first. 

My reminder to all reading is to love yourself. If you don’t love yourself first, you’re going to look for that love in other places and get hurt in the process. You won’t be able to love properly if you don’t find that sense of love within yourself. You have to know your worth. 

Overall

While it’s scary at first, growing up is a part of life. When you discover how far you’ve come, you’ll have no doubt that you are capable of so much more. I admit growth is uncomfortable, but it pushes us out of our comfort zone and transforms us into a better person. These struggles we face have a rewarding outcome that you’ll discover is worthwhile. 

Growth can be overwhelming, but it shapes us to who we are meant to be. Our mindsets evolve, we outgrow people, and we navigate through experiences, but we never truly fall. We continue to move forward because life doesn’t pause for our fears. We must take ourselves out of the dark and embrace the light we carry within ourselves. Show off the new chapter of your life, sharing your authenticity and resilience. Be proud of who you are!

About the Author

Te’laira is a senior at the University of Nevada Las Vegas & majors in psychology. She is from Oakland, California. In her free time she likes to hang out with her friends or watch tv shows. When she’s not doing those things though she’s probably shopping online. Te’laira is a new intern at LYF with the blog and newsletter team, and is enjoying every moment of her new journey.